She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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