the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
