I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
