In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
