Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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