dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
