He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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