how can u be prego again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
