Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
