I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
