I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
