the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
