More tranny stories later!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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