I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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