i permit you to call me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
