I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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