butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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