You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
