I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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