we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
