summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
