it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
