We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
