And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize