Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
