We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we made out on top of his cat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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