dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
