dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
