OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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