Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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