you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
