So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
