I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
