Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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