"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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