I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize