Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
