I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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