dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize