Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
