How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
