is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
