And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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