we have pet lesbian snakes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
