I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
