I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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