you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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