wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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