I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
