im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
