I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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