i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
