I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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