I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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