brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
