I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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