**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
