She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
