okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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