Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dude. I can hear the air.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize