oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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