I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
