As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
